If it weren’t for the damn passengers…

ttc_subway_delay_posterOkay, TTC, I get it.  The nasty, filthy passengers louse up the flawless mechanical precision of the Precious.

It’s not an absence of multi-track capacity (permitting express trains and re-routing around stopped trains).

It’s not the limited platform space at the very busiest stations.

It’s not the door-opening interval that is too short to permit everyone to embark and disembark in time.

It’s not the drivers and conductors having unscheduled breaks or being tardy at the shift change.

It’s not frequent signaling problems or maintenance workers on the track.  It’s all our fault.  Sorry.  We’ll try to do better—just give us another chance to make it right.

Yeah right.  In your dreams.

I can see the blocking / holding of doors being a genuine, delay-causing issue.  Obviously everybody wants all the door status indicators to display properly, and no sane driver is going to go charging off into the darkness with his train’s doors wide open.  Fair enough.

But what’s this business about Mind-the-Gap injuries?  Has anybody ever seen somebody jam their foot down there and pull a Buster Keaton-style pratfall?  It’s not beyond the realm of possibility, but in my thirty-odd years of riding the subway, I’ve never seen it.  It must happen at those seldom-travelled stations like Museum and Bessarion.  If this were a serious recurring issue, I would expect the TTC to take serious measures to deal with it.  Beyond scolding the passengers for being such clumsy oafs, that is.

Similarly I see a fair amount of litter at subway stations, but I have never witnessed litter causing a track-level fire.  Litter tends to cause a lot of track-level mice, but fires, not so much.  Frankly, a litter- or mouse-ignited fire sounds about ten times as exciting as having to read those pathetic Metro and 24hr news rags.  Install a fire-cam in each station and pipe it to all those spanky new OneSTOP LCD screens.  We want to know where the action is—quit holding out on us, TTC.

Anyway, thanks for the lecture, ladies and gents of the Commission.  Let us know when you get a clue.

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One Response
  1. Alan says:

    “…the Precious…”
    GOLD!!!