Best Dilbert Blog post ever

We all have those annoying little tasks that aren’t quite annoying enough to remember and remedy, but still bug you when you’re (eventually) reminded of them.  Like replacing a burnt-out lightbulb in the garage, or greasing a squeaky hinge.

In one woman’s case, it was finding a new dentist after the current one fondled her boobs.  Six times in two years.

I don’t know the particulars of this woman’s case, but I would have been out of there partway through incident number one.  Isn’t that just basic sense?

I had a similar case about twelve years ago, when I was a young man in my early twenties.  I needed new corrective lenses but my regular optometrist was booked, and I couldn’t get a timely appointment for an eye exam.  Due to some regulatory or professional stupidity they can’t issue you new glasses or lenses if your prescription is more than a year or two old—even if the prescription has never changed.  So on my lunch break I left the office and went to another optometrist, a pretty brunette in a tight sweater and short-ish skirt.

Went through a pretty standard battery of tests, but as we progressed to the optical refractor (a.k.a. Phoroptor) exams, the Pretty Optometrist started getting little too close.  And by too close I mean that every time she adjusted the phoroptor she would practically crawl into my lap.  She’d half-straddle the chair, putting one knee on my left leg, and lean waaaay in so that her cleavage was battling to detach my tie from its tie clip.  Multiply that by a few dozen occurrences over the course of the exam, and that’s a wee bit too close, too often.

A lot of young men in that position might look favourably on such a Penthouse Forum turn of events.  Fortunately (or unfortunately), when I have a mission with a limited time window, I get highly focused on accomplishing the mission.  Distractions get sidelined quickly if they’re ancilliary to the primary objective.  By the end of the exam I had pretty much fallen in love with her but was nonetheless concerned about the lack of professionalism.  The reasoning was “She’s hot, but I didn’t come here for a lapdance.  I need an accurate test and her mind isn’t on her work.  This is undoubtedly affecting the quality of the exam.”  And, in fact, it did.  The prescription the Pretty Optometrist had written up was different from my regular prescription, which hasn’t changed in 20-odd years.  I went back to my regular optometrist not long afterward and, of course, the prescription was the same as it had always been.

I didn’t go to the Pretty Optometrist again, and her practice moved from that office not long after.  Maybe if I’d gone to a peeler joint for a lapdance and been offered an eye exam, the outcome would have been different.  But when you seek professional services and get unprofessional behaviour, I don’t think you should delay too long in seeking another practitioner.  Six strikes is a little much.

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One Response
  1. Alan says:

    …Maybe if I’d gone to a peeler joint for a lapdance and been offered an eye exam, the outcome would have been different…
    Pack it in. Best blog sentence ever.