They can have my willy when they pry it from my cold, dead hands

Swedish armed forces castrated the heraldic lion of the EU’s Nordic Battlegroup.

NBG FörbandsmärkeThe armed forces agreed to emasculate the lion after a group of women from the rapid reaction force lodged a complaint to the European Court of Justice, Göteborgs-Posten reports.

Funnily enough I don’t think Roman legionaries were given to complaining about the Lupa Capitolina—with exposed teats—appearing on their banners, buildings and coins.  But then they probably didn’t think there was anything inherently sexist about a female wolf representing the city and people of Rome.

These days our symbology has to be one hundred percent representative of everyone and everything, or bland enough to avoid offending anyone (except aesthetes).  That reminds me, I need to petition the OHRC to amend the City of Toronto’s coat of arms.  The eagle, bear, beaver and green grass are not representative enough of my Asian ancestry and that has to change.  The grass should be a rice paddy and one of the shield supporters should be a nice multi-ethnic symbol like an Asian dragon.  And there should be samurai and ninjas somewhere.

Swedes—how about a little less time spent gawking at stylized animal willies, and a little more time spent on operational readiness and mission capability.  No?

“The army lacks knowledge about heraldry. Once upon a time coats of arms containing lions without genitalia were given to those who betrayed the Crown,” said [emblem designer Vladimir A] Sagerlund.

I must reconsider.  In that light, a castrated lion is the perfect emblem for the EU’s Nordic Battlegroup.

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2 Responses
  1. Flea says:

    A samurai- and ninja-themed crest sounds an excellent idea.

  2. Alan says:

    I need to lodge a complaint about the grievous lack of use of the Ontario tartan in government communications. I am willing to negotiate an inclusion of a plaid dragon however Welsh such an image is.