Archive for » 2007 «

Santa hates kids

Delivery of Santa’s letters was suspended for two days on Thursday in the country’s capital and Canada Post is “implementing new measures in the volunteer response process to guard against repetition of such incidents,” a statement read.

The handwritten notes from Canada Post’s Santa letter program, written in response to children’s letters sent to a special HOH OHO postal code, contain curse words and descriptions of lewd acts. They were delivered to at least 10 families in the Ottawa area, the corporation said.

– CTV.ca News Staff, “Naughty Santa letters halt Canada Post delivery“, December 14th, 2007.

Images of the letters (on CTV’s site) indicate that Santa hates kids.  I’m not so sure.  Maybe he just hates the brats in Ottawa.  Especially the ones that sit on the green and red benches in the big building by the river.

Category: Culpae Poenae Par Esto  Comments off

Is this gonna be a standup fight, sir, or another bughunt?

Ripley: Just tell me one thing, Burke. You’re going out there to destroy them*, right? Not to study. Not to bring back. But to wipe them out.

Burke: That’s the plan. You have my word on it.

Ripley: All right, I’m in.

* Hairworms.  Filthy, scary ascarids.

(Courtesy of Cold Fury )

Category: Miscellania  Tags:  3 Comments

If she were really a samurai, she would have committed seppuku

for dishonouring her family and allowing herself to be captured by the enemy.

Way to go Richele MacDonald of Milton, Ontario.  You have brought shame upon your ancestors.

Category: Culpae Poenae Par Esto  Tags:  Comments off

Fairmont Château Laurier

Our room, from the collection of mud huts which Ottawans mistake for a five-star hotel.

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I kid—it’s actually a very nice hotel with supremely competent staff and decent food.  As Ferris Bueller would say, if you have the means, I highly recommend it.

The only flaw is the bathroom.  Why the designer felt the need to put the towel racks on the other side of the room from the his-and-hers sinks is beyond me.  Pure ergonomic stupidity.  And the shower stall with glass door does not seal (has about a half-inch gap around all edges), so you are going to get water all over the floor, no matter how careful you are.

But beyond that minor quibble, I’ve got nothing but good things to say about the Château Laurier’s facilities or staff.

Category: Amor Patriae, Diversions  Tags:  Comments off

Porter Airlines

Random observations from the flight:

No surly flight attendants.  Air Canada, take note.  Also, dig those pillbox hats.

It’s quiet. On the DH4 (Dash 8-Q400), I would estimate there’s about a 60-70% reduction in engine / airflow noise compared to the original DH1 (Dash 8-100).  You can actually carry on a conversation at normal volume, which would be unthinkable in its predecessors.  The only downside is that if there are crying/screaming brats on your flight, you will be able to hear them quite clearly, too.

Stupid BlackBerry tricks: I have no idea why the BlackBerry’s camera is trying to tell me that the aircraft is a many-tentacled Japanese manga monster.  Contrary to the image (below, on the left), the fuselage is not spontaneously growing another set of propeller blades and those are not prop-tentacles snaking their way out into the slipstream.

Beside it (below, on the right) is the six-bladed composite Dowty propeller as seen via a real camera, with absolutely no tentacle-porn content.

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Incidentally, Dowty Propellers has a long and honourable history as a British manufacturer of prop blades and parts.  It is now a component of GE Aviation.

Porter’s in-flight meal box. Contains one turkey-and-swiss sandwich on whole-wheat submarine-style bread, one roundel of Mini Babybel cheese, one piece of Melba toast, and one double chocolate chip cookie.  Libation options include soft drinks, water, or wine.  Note that drinks are served in actual glasses, not disposable plastic cups.

Contrast that with Air Canada Jazz’ usual snack option of stale pretzels, a soft drink, and no booze and no cheese.

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What the hell is all this white stuff doing on the ground already?  When I left Toronto, it was the beginning of our rainy season and indigenous beachcombers had just finished harvesting mangoes from the tropical rainforests along the Don River.

Trip time: about 45 minutes.

CYTZ

Had to travel to the Notional Capital Region for a family event this past weekend.  Point of departure was the Port George VI Airfield, a.k.a. Toronto City Centre Airport.  I’ve flown out of YTZ many times, commercially and privately, but the most recent trip (before today) was four or five years ago.  How things have changed.

My first commercial trip out of YTZ was back in 1983 aboard an Air Otonabee piston-engined twin.  The passenger terminal at that time was the original (and slightly dilapidated) wooden structure dating from 1939.  The building still exists today, but mainly as a shell for a Druxy’s Deli.  I don’t remember a lot about it, except that it lacked everything that a kid of ten expected to find in an airport.  Including jets.

When Air Ontario (now folded into Air Canada Jazz) occupied a newly-built passenger terminal, the amenities were similarly disappointing.  Bus-terminal-style moulded plastic seats, no bar, and a tiny, sad Druxy’s on the upper level.  The sole attraction of the island airport was that you avoided the horrific lineups to be found at Pearson (CYYZ).

Porter’s new terminal is gorgeous and indulgent, especially when compared to its predecessors.  On the mainland, there is a climate-controlled ferry waiting lounge which replaces the sad old open-to-the-elements fibreglass bus shelter.  The ferry itself can accommodate passengers and luggage in a spacious upper cabin; previously, the passenger areas were mere crawlways (barely one person wide) along the ferry’s longitudinal sides.

dsc_0002The Porter departure lounge now features large, comfortable seats in place of Air Canada Jazz’s uncomfortable, moulded-plastic monstrosities.  There’s also a little kitchen/cafe area with complimentary coffee (or espresso, or cappuccino), plus juice, soft drinks, or bottled water.  If you’re peckish, there is an ample supply of cookies and snacks.  To top it all off, the departure lounge also has complimentary wifi, so you can browse your favourite blogs (or make last-minute itinerary adjustments) prior to boarding.

I’ve always liked the convenience of departing via YTZ, but now it’s comfortable as well.   This is how air travel used to be, before 9/11 and spiralling fuel costs forced the airlines to cut fares and perqs in a deadly race to self-extinction.  As Darcey would say, two thumbs up but—as always—get a second opinion.

Squawking 7600

7600 is the transponder code pilots will set when they have a radio failure, and can no longer communicate with air traffic control.

Not sure when "regular" blogging will resume… Was in Ottawa over the weekend for a family event, and had to take the network down last Thursday for major painting operations.  Theoretically I could have enabled limited geek services from the living room, but the idea of turning the living room into a makeshift data centre made my stomach crawl.  There are things you do and things you don’t do, and having computers operational in the living room ranks up there with public toenail clipping.

I do have some shots from Ottawa and hopefully I’ll get to them in a day or two, after the paint-slathering work moves on from the office to other areas of the home.

Category: Miscellania  Comments off

Germany: still old and busted

Davids Medienkritik highlights a poll of young Berliners conducted by German daily Die Welt.  The survey examines residents’ knowledge of and attitudes toward the former communist-run DDR (East Germany).  Perhaps the most striking results are those for 15-17-year-olds—admittedly a demographic that, throughout the Western world, tends to ignore historical knowledge in favour of pop trends and leisure.

Most unsettling are the positive or neutral responses by a majority of East-Berlin students polled (and sizable minorities of West-Berlin students) to the propositions that the DDR was not a dictatorship and that the Stasi was just an intelligence agency like any other. This represents a dangerous ignorance of one’s own national history as well as a frightening willingness to condone or overlook the crimes of the former East German regime.

Davids Medienkritic, “Welt Online: “America Built the Wall – Kohl is from the East“, November 11th, 2007.

I agree.  Hard to believe that a little over two hundred years ago, Prussia had what was regarded as the best education system in Europe.  Now it looks like Germany was marginally better off when it was a collection of 1,800 minor statelets ruled by inbred relatives of the King of Spain.  Is it too late for the North Atlantic Council to undo the Trizone unification?

Category: Historica, Media  Tags:  2 Comments

Going down the memory hole

One would think that the presence of the Internet Archive (and the massive caching properties of the Goog-Hive) would make journalistic fact-checking a common, routine task.  Especially where politicians and their historical revisionism are concerned.

Entire city council not batshit crazy after all

My ward councillor, Bill Saundercook, recently floated an idea for the city to tax bottled water.  Five cents for bottled Ontario water, and ten cents for filthy, despicable out-of-province water.  Fortunately, Bill proposed this during the land-transfer tax debate and was ruled out of order.  Mayor David Miller, also a Ward 13 resident, pledged to get Saundercook’s idea on the executive committee’s agenda for next Monday’s meeting.

Councillor Bill Saundercook has floated the idea of imposing a 5 cents tax on a bottle of water produced in Ontario and a 10 cents levy on imports.

In a letter to next week’s meeting of Toronto’s influential executive committee, Mayor David Miller writes that he supports the idea of reviewing Saundercook’s proposal…

Saundercook argued there’s no need for people to drink bottled water when they can just turn on the tap.

– Zen Ruryk, “Bottled water tax idea faces obstacles“.  Toronto Sun, November 22nd, 2007.

Sure, Bill.  Who needs anything other than tap water?  There are city-provided taps in every bus and subway car, aren’t there?  And park drinking fountains never freeze up in the cold, they run year-round, don’t they?  No?

Well, no matter.  Everyone can just go home and get tap water instead.  Especially the people visiting from other cities and countries.  They should have thought ahead and packed a couple of empty thermoses.  And then knocked on the door of the nearest city resident and asked to fill them up.

The city’s budget chief, however, seems to think that water-bottle revenues would be negligible in light of the expenses.  Not to mention the tax would be illegal under the terms of the taxation powers granted by the City of Toronto Act.

Under the new City of Toronto Act, the city has more powers to levy its own taxes, but the act clearly prohibits sales taxes other than on alcohol, tobacco or entertainment, such as concert tickets.

At first glance, city officials say, it appears a bottled-water tax would be illegal, but they still need to study the matter.

Budget chief Shelley Carroll opposes such a tax, arguing that point-of-sale taxation is expensive.

Unlike the province or the federal government, which already collect sales taxes, the city would have to set up a new bureaucracy.

“I don’t want to set up a department that’s going to cost $8 million to $10 million to collect $15 million,” she said.

But she added that if the city could have a sales tax that would generate $400 million a year, she’d be prepared to consider it.

– Vanessa Lu, “Bottled water tax idea faces obstacles“. 
Toronto Star, November 22nd, 2007.

A certain amount of lunacy is expected from Councillor Saundercook, given that he was previously a schoolteacher and may not yet comprehend the rule of law in the real world—that is, outside the classroom.  Mayor Miller, on the other hand, was a lawyer by training and ought to know better.  Where the province’s statutes do not delegate municipal taxing powers, the city cannot arrogate them to itself.

Most impressive is the practical common sense of the city’s budget chief.  This is a rather rare gift of insight for Toronto City Council.  Especially when one considers that Mrs. Caroll’s previous work experience was that of a School Trustee for the TDSB—an organisation not well-known for regular displays of wisdom and practicality.

Thanks, Shelley Carroll.  Maybe in a few years’ time you can think about a bid for the Mayor’s chair.  It would be nice to have a city executive that isn’t always under the impression that they’re sovereign heads of state.

Category: What Really Grinds My Gears  Tags:  Comments off