Do yourselves a favour and leave the flakes at home

Since I can’t seem to halt the flood of mail from the Texas Coalition of Black Democrats and Senate District 13, I am going to share one of the more humourous examples with you.  At this point I am not even going to try to unsubscribe because the entertainment value is too high.

From: [Name redacted]
To: [a giant list of Texas Democrats voting to select delegates to the National Convention]
Date:    Fri, May 23, 2008 at 11:02 PM
Subject:    Not Your Ordinary National Delegate Candidate
Signed-by:    swbell.net

Don’t YOU THINK
THE TEXAS OBAMA DELEGATION
TO THE DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL
CONVENTION
SHOULD INCLUDE
 
An Artist
A Gardener
A Paralegal
A Singer/Songwriter
A Gourmet Chef
Someone Who Marched in Protest Before the 2003 Invasion of Iraq
A BodyTalk Practitioner
A Librarian
An Actor
Someone with a Degree in Political Science
A Web Page Designer
A Handyman
An Animal Rights Advocate
A Peter Sellers Fan
A Jogger
A TV Producer
A Mystic
A Participant in the Social Revolutions of the Sixties
A JFK Assassination Researcher
An Ordained ULC Minister
A Vegetarian
An Investigator of the Paranormal
A Legendary Debater
and
A Practical Joker?
 
ELECT
[Name Redacted]
AND YOU HAVE EVERYTHING COVERED

My advice is, leave the following guys at home:

  • The JFK assasination researcher.  (Hint: Oswald did it.  With a bolt-action rifle.)
  • The ordained ULC minister.  (Hint:  The Universal Life Church ordains just about anyone with a pulse.  Its honourary doctorates require no academic course or standard of achievement.  Not something you want to advertise.)
  • The investigator of the paranormal.  (Hint: Ghosts lose their voting privileges at death, so they won’t be voting for Obama.  They’ll be waiting in the green room for a guest spot on that lame Jennifer Love Hewitt show.)
  • The participant in the Social Revolutions of the Sixties.  (Hint: Replace the patchouli with deodorant and ditch the bell-bottoms for a nice [ironed] pair of flat front pants, hippie.)
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