Spotted this hand-scrawled and photocopied personals ad duct-taped to a bus shelter at the corner of Keele St. and Glenlake Ave.:
(Phone number redacted to protect the guilty)
I guess that degree in testosterone didn’t include any courses in marketing. Consider including important data for the woman to consider, such as:
- Interests and activities (i.e. potential topics of conversation) other than movies, foot massage and buxom ladies. Somehow you have to get past the “weirdo” perception that comes from taping hand-scrawled personal ads to bus shelters.
- Personal values, goals in life. It might help a teeny tiny bit if you and your prospective mate had similar value systems and goals in life.
- Employment status. When you go visit her folks in Calgary, are you riding there?
- Age of the poster and prospective dates. Need more specifics. If I were less kind and had more time on my hands (i.e. was a teenager on summer vacation) I would photocopy the hell out of this ad and tape it up everywhere it was guaranteed to get the wrong kind of attention. Retirement homes, elementary schools, etc.
- The number of movie posters/action figures per square foot at one’s primary residence. Just a hunch but I’m betting it’s somewhere around three, minimum.
Good luck fella, you’re going to need it.
Chris is most often found flying a desk, but he delights in studying the Golden Age of Aviation (1919-1939). He admires all the pioneering men and women who navigated the skies with nothing more sophisticated than a map, compass and sextant—and the conviction that there was no place they could not reach.
