Smurf me a mothersmurfin’ break

Via Jamie Weinman of Macleans, I learn that Columbia Pictures and Sony Entertainment are teaming up to produce a live-action + CG characters movie featuring the Smurfs.  The producer would be one Jordan Kerner (responsible for Charlotte’s Web), and the screenwriters would be the comedic geniuses responsible for Shrek 2 and 3.  The horror.

smurfs_graphic_novelKerner said the genesis of the current project began during a holiday conversation with Sony Pictures Entertainment chairman-CEO Michael Lynton, who grew up with “Les Schtroumpfs” in the Netherlands. “He relished them as I do and suggested that it should be a live-action/CG film,” he said. “(Studio topper) Amy (Pascal) felt equally that there was potentially a series of films in the making.”

Kerner has been working closely on the project with Lafig CEO Hendrik Coysman and Veronique Culliford, the daughter of Peyo.

— Tatania Siegel, “Col, SPA send ‘Smurfs’ to bigscreen“.  Variety, June 10th, 2008.

Frankly I don’t understand how an adult can have fond memories of the Smurfs.  They were annoying, preachy moralists who could manage to build mini-scale dams and rockets, but somehow failed to invent something as basic as shirts.  Let’s be clear, Gargamel is the real hero of the series.  All he wants to do turn the Smurfs into gold—something their creator, Peyo, did by merchandising them mercilessly from 1959 until his death in 1992.

Great Caesar’s ghost, a fuggin’ Smurf series.  Multiple movies featuring the little blue bastards.  Apparently they survived the shellacking UN forces dealt out last time.  My advice would be to use nukes next time, redirect the course of a river to run over the remains of Smurf village, and salt any earth not sufficiently irradiated and flooded.

Now to get the bad taste of recycled Smurf out of your mouth, ponder this.  The Movie Blog also hints at rumours that Lawrence Kasdan—screenwriter for gems such as Raiders of the Lost Ark, The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi—may be on board for a movie adaptation of… Robotech.  Oh hell yeah!

(Image, BTW, not from the impending and much lamer Smurf movie.  It was a clever parody from Comicon.)

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2 Responses
  1. Shocking! Just shocking!

  2. Colin says:

    Who knew Smurfette wore a thong.
    I mean, I always suspected, but now…