Why Gwyneth Paltrow is annoying


Simple—it’s genetics.

A scientific analysis of her mom’s filmography has determined that Blythe Danner has historically been so tooth-grindingly annoying in every role I have seen her, that I invariably want to smack her in the face with a shovel.

So there was never really any chance that Gwyneth could escape inheriting the “SHUT UP for pity’s sake” gene.

RELATED: Gwyneth makes friends on the set of her new movie.

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2 Responses
  1. Nathan B. says:

    As a loyal reader of your excellent blog, and at the risk of my coming off as a complete a–hole, (for which I apologize in advance), I think I should say that the tone of this particular post resembles a common personal attack a little too much…particularly in light of a recent post on religion. Also, insulting mothers is usually off-limits for most, unless the mothers in question have been abusive or neglectful.

    That said, I know next to nothing about celebrities, so perhaps I’m just missing the context; I don’t even have a face to put the name “Paltrow” (although I now have a pair of legs, apparently).

  2. Chris Taylor says:

    It was really just an excuse to link the WWTDD post. And also to mention just how incredibly annoying I find Blythe Danner. Far, far more so than her daughter.

    Wanda used to watch a show called Huff and Ms. Danner played the lead character’s senior-aged mom. A very annoying mom. A snob, a drunk, very prissy, fussy and nosy. Always ready to stick her nose into her son’s business and make a condescending remark or impromptu lecture. Did I mention I would like to smack her with a shovel?

    To really understand where I am coming from you would have to watch a few seasons of Huff, which I emphatically do not recommend. The upshot is that the mom character played by Gwyneth’s mom is (minus the drunkenness) a lot like Gwyneth’s real-life personality. Hence my tart observations.

    To be fair I do think Ms. Paltrow has some talent, but that talent does not extend to being a lifestyle guru.