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The Mad Men aesthetic only seems cool

… if you forget how casually chauvinist the real-life ads were.  Like this one:

Toronto Week, p. 5. c. late 1960s-early 1970s.

A lame double entendre, followed by the execrable “Light enough for her.”  Because chicks can’t handle full-bodied single malts; their sissified GI tracts can only handle watered-down blended whiskies.

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Exotic cuisine

If someone offers you a serving of “virgin eggs“, you should probably take a pass.

The main ingredients?  Eggs, of course… and urine.  Collected from local schoolboys, no less.

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Oops!

World's rarest shark caught, then eaten.

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When bacon goes wrong

bacon_floss

I think this is one item that really was never meant to be wedded to the taste of delicious pork.

Maybe it’s years of Pavlovian conditioning geared to associate dental hygiene with the taste of mint, but this just seems like ten pounds of wrong in a five-pound bag.

(Via Dax, who dislikes the acoustic properties of dental floss, bacon-flavoured or otherwise)

Wide World of Bacon, Vol I

Stuff to keep you occupied in the twilight hours of the work week

bacon_world Next week is vacation time for me, so blogging will (probably) be light-to-nonexistent.  If all goes well I will have a fully refitted bathroom, many more hours logged on the Wii, empty bottles of scotch and pictures of cute wild animals.  If things go poorly I will be short one bathroom, have fragments of a Wii, bottles of wild animals, and pictures of scotch.

Thanks largely to Kateland and JMH, I have some goodies to pass on to all of you today, from the non-intersecting (but equally interesting) worlds of bacon and airpower.

  • Bacon bandages! (via Kateland)  Somebody must think this is a good idea, but count me out.  There’s something just a little off about this concept.
  • Bacon air freshener (via Kateland).  Depending on the scent quality this could be a really, really good idea, or an abomination to all mankind.  Theoretically it should beat the hell out of those disgusting pine-scented fresheners.  On the other hand, your odds of going through the drive-through every day to get a bacon cheeseburger will go up by a gazillion percent.
  • The bacon-scented, bacon-patterned tuxedo (also via Kateland).  I like bacon a lot, but I love my wife a lot more, and I am pretty certain she would kill me if I were to try and wear something like this outdoors.  Or even off-duty lounging around the house.  I’m reasonably sure I would kill me if I tried to wear anything like a bacon tux.  The point of high hilarity in this photo is the woman.  She is wearing a semi-traditional mandarin-collared dress, suitable for a variety of special occasions, and she has her hand draped over the guy’s shoulder with casual familiarity, as if any woman in her right mind would want to be associated with a buffoon in a bacon suit.  The guy, meanwhile, is doing his best to look smooth wearing something whose only possible special occasion is his death and consumption in a giant BLT by fashion-conscious cannibals.
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The downside of bacon-on-demand

stove_ownership(From the xkcd webcomic; hat tip to Dax)

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Bacon of the Month Club

boar_bacon No, I am not joking.  There really is such a thing.

For a hundred and fifty bucks a month year, plus shipping, you can have new and exotic bacon delivered to your door once a month by a site called The Grateful Palate.

Here is what the proprietor has to say on the subject:

I’ve made it a life goal to seek and find great bacons from all over the United States.  Every year I taste hundreds of bacons and from my tastings I select the best of the best to be in my catalog.  You can order bacons individually or in combos.

I’m trying to wrap my mind around tasting hundreds of bacons every year.  People get paid for that?  Man am I ever on the wrong career track.

Bacon for dessert

This little blurb from the Dallas Morning News seems like ten kinds of wrong in a five-kind bag, but I have to admit that there is a part of me (specifically the taste buds and saliva glands) that kind of well, salivates at the idea of trying this out.

I present to you what may well be the crowning achievement of thousands of years of recorded human cuisine: the Bacon Chocolate-Chip Cookie with Maple-Cinnamon Glaze:

bacon_cookie

Bacon for the infidel amongst the ummah

bacon_salt

Navy Times brings good news to hungry warfighters stationed in the pork-free lands of the Prophet:

What’s the worst thing about being deployed to a Muslim country? The flying lead? The 120-degree heat? No bacon?

If you’d pick “no bacon,” here’s good news.

A Seattle-area business is concerned that Marines don’t have enough bacon on deployment. The owners of J&D’s Down Home Enterprises are pushing their new product — “Bacon Salt.” It’s a “vegetarian and kosher seasoning salt that makes everything taste like real, delicious bacon,” according to the manufacturer.

Apparently the company was contacted by a bacon-craving Marine stationed at a small base in Anbar province.  While the larger military facilities in Afghanistan and Iraq do provide bacon, there are many small camps and FOBs that cannot.

The company has launched “Operation Bacon Salt“, aiming to provide the additive to warfighters in Southwest Asia.  As Justin Esch—one the company’s owners—wrote Navy Times, ““We hope that by supporting the troops in our own way we can help inspire other companies (with much larger budgets) to do the same.”

“This is noble fat” update: The New York Times‘ Edward Schneider weighs in on traditional (i.e. porcine) bacon, and its many treatments and forms.

Fruit of the Pig update: The Stranger‘s Lindy West searches out Seattle’s best bacon.

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Shahadah

et_bike

There is no candy-coated peanut butter snack but Reese’s Pieces, and E.T. (peace be upon him) is their Prophet.

(via the infidel Mitchieville, who is trying to foment a Redolution ).

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