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This is an abomination

bacon_soap

I love bacon as much as (if not more than) the next guy, but spending the morning stinking like fried pig just doesn’t appeal to me.

When I was a young lad just embarking on a civilian career, I made the error of getting dressed for work before cooking a sumptuous bacon-and-egg breakfast.  As I discovered to my dismay, I had to put up with the faint aroma of bacon on my clothes for the rest of the day; neither deodorant nor copious amounts of cologne could dispel it.  Tasting yummy bacon is one thing, but having the aroma emanate from your clothes for 14 hours can be sickening.  And lo, I never made that error again.  Always, always cook bacon before one showers or gets dressed for work.

This soap would let one live that early learning experience for weeks; the allure of it is lost on me.

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British Caledonian

As their slogan said, British Caledonian never forgot you had a choice.  Neither did British Airways—that’s why they bought up this competitor in 1987.

I dimly recall this ad, which would have aired when I was nine.  But I also recall being firmly in thrall to the BA marketing machine, owing to the “it” factor nobody else could match—the Concorde.

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BOAC: Kiss Me Goodnight, Sergeant Major

This ad is basically science fiction to me. I understand the method of its appeal (the no-nonsense Chief Steward and wartime soldier’s song), but I don’t quite grasp why it was supposed to make someone think fondly of their cabin attendants while planning a week away from it all in the Caribbean.

The message I get out of it is  “BOAC—We don’t f*ck around.  And you’d better not, either.”

Actually on second thought, that would be a good organising principle for an airline or two to heed today.

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Cabin Crew: Star to Fall

Here is something to keep you occupied for the rest of the day.  The jet-setting Ghost of a flea posted this back in June, but I only just realised its training possibilities now.

The video cast is a mix of flight attendants (in blue) and ramp marshallers (in white, with batons).  Some of the marshalling signals are valid (although the vast majority are not).  Have a look at the Marshalling Signals as depicted by AIR 1.8 of the Transport Canada Aeronautical Information Manual (AIM); see if you can identify the valid signals and time in the video at which they occur.  The ramp marshalling starts at 00:52.

So far I have spotted the obvious “stop” (1:07) and a very quick “land” (1:01).  Also possibly an “open/close stairs” (2:23).

I don’t know what’s going on at 2:20 but it might be loosely interpreted as “engine fire”.

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Darby O’Gill and the Little People

I remember watching this movie in elementary school, although I’m not sure why it was being shown.  What I do remember is that for my 9- or 10-year-old self, The Banshee was the scariest thing ever committed to celluloid.  I was recently reminded of this childhood terror and decided to see whether it was as bone-chilling as I remembered it:

The funny thing is, I distinctly recall the greenish Banshee having a scary death’s-head skull-like face; but it doesn’t.  Not in this clip, either.  And seeing it at a twenty-five-year remove, I’m more inclined to chuckle at the memory of how frightening it used to be, and to puzzle over why it was scary.

Now the frightening part is seeing Sean Connery playing an Irishman, and having some other fellow’s voice dubbed over what we can only assume is his undoubtedly atrocious singing.

But something good came of this cliché-ridden anachronism.  Legend has it that producer Albert R. Broccoli was having problems finding a suitable actor to portray James Bond for the series’ first film, Dr. No.  Complaining of the casting difficulties to his wife (actually his third wife) Dana Wilson, she recalled seeing an handsome young actor in Darby O’Gill and, supposedly, told her husband that “Sean Connery is the best-looking man I have ever seen.”

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The Quotidian Metropolis

On Saturday morning, I spotted two interesting things on the way to the CNE.

This strange Jeep-whatever hybrid (with Philippine flags in the windows) was parked in the bus bay of Dundas West TTC station. Regular civilians can’t park in there so I’m assuming its owner is a TTC employee.

Strange Jeep, originally uploaded by cetaylor.

Then there was a fellow wearing this shirt, advertising one of our competitor airlines.

Competing Airline, originally uploaded by cetaylor.

Naturally, the discriminating traveller knows that cheap fares aren’t everything; Taylor Empire Airways provides the most luxurious and comfortable air liner service to Africa, India and Australia.

UPDATE: Oh one other thing.  If you ever take the TTC to The Ex then you owe it to yourself to take the 193 Exhibition Rocket from Dundas West station.  That bus is express only between the station and Dufferin Gate, usually a 10-minute ride.  It is much much faster and far less hassle than the Bathurst streetcar.  For the love of Pete do not take the Bathurst car; it is slow, crowded, and will drive you insane.

I have been to the CNE twice this year (Warrior’s Day and the air show), and for both inbound and outbound legs, the 193 Exhibition Rocket had less than a dozen people aboard and was very fast.

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